| (no subject) |
[Apr. 19th, 2005|10:54 am] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| |  frustrated | ] |
friends only !!
i deleted most of you who are just on my friends list
& only kept the ones who i really know well.
if you want, comment this & i'll probably add you back.
ps; jess, i guess i lied when i said i deleted my LJ
i couldn't resist. i HAD to come back haha.
<3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 5th, 2005|02:56 pm] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| |  blah | ] |
i got this today.
not sure if i like it or not.
so i'm debating if i should take it out & get a refund.
it didnt hurt.
its kinda sore now.
this picture is gross:
 |
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|
| speechless |
[Mar. 10th, 2005|01:20 pm] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| |  giddy | ] |
| [ | listening to |
| | self against city | ] |
i have a mad crush on a boy right now.
it makes me so so so happy.
but at the same time sad.
i wish i could read minds.
i really like this boy<3 |
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|
| >>as random as it'll ever be |
[Feb. 24th, 2005|01:30 pm] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| | cranky | ] |
some random stuff from school today:
number onei HATE weirdos that are on myspace that also go to sac city. they try to be your friend, but just end up creeping you out. they basically stalk you at school. and it gets annoying. and surprise, they are in your classes as well. ew. the myspace world is too big. simply, disgusting. kthanks.
number twoattn:oddball that sits in front of me in math STOP STARING BACK AT ME EVERY 2.5 SECONDS!! so this guy reminds me of a robot, he moves very precise & sharp like a robot. and today i realized that his head seriously can turn around almost completely, like an owl. his eyes are crazy and he has a terrible staring problem.
number threei am strangely attracted to a boy at my school. i just noticed him the other day. he is in my math class. it's quite weird because he looks NOTHING like any guys that i have recently had crushes on. he is totally not anything like any of them. he doesn't dress anything like most boys i know, nor does he have hair like most boys i know. there is just something about him that is attractive & i can't put my finger on it. let's just say i have motivation to actually go to class these days.
ps. this week i HATE being a girl. i'm bloated beyond belief. i feel like shit. cramps galore. my boobs have exploded from bloatedness. and i haven't been able to sleep well in the past few days. i'm lucky i've been in a happy mood since sunday, or else i'd be the worlds biggest bitch right now.
i think i'm just gonna go to work to go to the meeting & fill out my time card today. i feel gross & in pain. and i have so much to study for tonight. & it would be lovely if i made it to bed early as well. i need sleep.
tomorrow: if all goes as planned. i will be getting my nose pierced. eek, wish me luck<3 |
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|
| >>today's lessons learned |
[Feb. 23rd, 2005|11:03 pm] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | listening to |
| | david lettermen on tv | ] |
i learned a few lessons today:
number oneblack men that dress like pimps & carry around canes at a gas station are not all that bad. sometimes they might just fill up your gas tank for you & you end of not having to spend your hard earned 20 bucks.
number twogoing to the bathroom alone is probably a bad idea at all times. my cousin took his girlfriend out to dinner last night and she went to use the bathroom and was raped by a man that jumped out of the stall next to her and pushed her to the floor.
number threeplanned study groups with your friends turn into siting on the couch watching the simple life and american idol and eating jolly ranchers.
this week has been seriously one of the best weeks i've had in a long time. it's quite ridiculous, and i simply love it<3 |
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|
| >>i never wanted it to mean that much to me |
[Feb. 22nd, 2005|08:46 pm] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | listening to |
| | american idol on tv | ] |
i saw him sunday night/monday morning.
it had been far too long since i had seen him last.
if i could go back, i would change some things.
aparantly it turned out all okay though :)
i wish this didn't have so much of an effect on me as it does.
whatever.
it's quite silly how a girl's heart works.
my heart is vicious
&it won't stop until it is fufilled
&get's what it wants.
[edit]so i watched gwen stefani on oprah today. i seriously started ballin like a baby, and wishing it was me that got to meet her. as most of you know i am by far the bigggest no doubt/gwen stefani fan that i know. this inspires me to write to oprah & confess my love for no doubt & why i should meet them. you should write to her too & maybe it will persuade her to let me meet no doubt haha[/edit] |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 18th, 2005|04:33 pm] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| | blank | ] |
| [ | listening to |
| | mae | ] |
so basically i feel like a flake & a meanie.
but then again, things never work out.
this time it was my fault.. oopsie.
anyway: girls night out tonight.
me;
stephanie;
whitney;
heather;
sarah;
kaelyn;
[edit]btw, no doubt is playing in anaheim tonight. i was supposed to be there..[/edit] |
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|
| yea, it's kinda like this.. |
[Feb. 3rd, 2005|12:51 pm] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | listening to |
| | hawthorne heights | ] |
why do you build me up buttercup, baby
just to let me down and mess me around
and then worst of all you never call, baby
when you say you will but i love you still
i need you more than anyone, darlin'
you know that i have from the start
so build me up buttercup, don't break my heart
"i'll be over at ten", you told me time and again
but you're late, i wait around and then
i run to the door, i can't take any more
it's not you, you let me down again
baby, baby, try to find
a little time, and i'll make you happy
i'll be home
i'll be beside the phone waiting for you
why do you build me up buttercup, baby
just to let me down and mess me around
and then worst of all you never call, baby
when you say you will but i love you still
i need you more than anyone, darlin'
you know that i have from the start
so build me up buttercup, don't break my heart
[i love how such a happy catchy song explains my feelings perfectly. weird.] |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 1st, 2005|01:35 pm] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| | giddy | ] |
| [ | listening to |
| | gwen stefani | ] |
i cut 4 inches off of my hair. yikes:
don't mind my ugly face & the bed headedness of it all
but be jealous of my L.A.M.B. tank. k thanks.
 |
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|
| i wanna know how to get through this..without choking up |
[Jan. 11th, 2005|01:06 am] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| |  tired | ] |
i wish missing someone wasn't so hard
[edit]but just something as simple as a text message can make it that much easier. even if you have to initiate and send one first for them to reply to. haha |
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| i guess i lied when i said i wasn't going to make any resolutions.. |
[Jan. 7th, 2005|12:26 am] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| | cold | ] |
2005:
-get tan
[edit] have already started at maui tan
-exercise more frequently
[edit] have been doing crunches, regularly...somewhat
-save up money to move out
-find a second job (since my seasonal one is over in a week)
-keep a journal of my year.. don't ask, it's something personal & random i suppose
[edit] have done so, so far
-perhaps, find a boyfriend, perhaps
-3.0 spring 2005 & fall 2005 semester
-cut back on shows
[edit] have been doing pretty good
-cut back on fast food
[edit] going to be tough, i looove taco bell :-/
-stay away from drama
[edit] would be easier if it weren't for drama causing lovers
-make new friends
-get something else pierced |
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|
| it's a new year.. |
[Jan. 2nd, 2005|11:18 pm] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| | good | ] |
& I AM LEAVING DRAMA BEHIND.
DRAMA THAT STARTED IN '04. STAYS IN '04.
IF YOU ARE DRAMA FREE, WE COULD BE FRIENDS.
IF NOT, PLEASE STAY AWAY.
THANK YOU.
<3 |
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|
| i want you and your beautiful soul |
[Jan. 1st, 2005|02:33 am] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| | giddy | ] |
i'm hecka infatuated with someone special right now. he makes my heart get thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis big & makes the butterflies in my tummy go crazy. i can't take my eyes off of him because he is so beautiful. he is amazing in every single way. every minute i spend with him makes me more and more happy. his hugs are so comforting and his kisses are sweet and beautiful.
ah, i was getting carried away because i miss him...even tho i saw him really recently.
theend<3 |
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|
| out in 2006 |
[Dec. 23rd, 2004|10:27 pm] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | listening to |
| | mötley crüe | ] |
some guy at work today asked if my swimsuit edition calendar is gonna be ready for next year cuz his son wanted a copy.
i almost fell on the floor from laughing so hard. then sarah laughed at me.
lmao!! goodtimes. i hate my job. |
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|
| you get me seriously out of my mind..& i am so into us.. |
[Dec. 18th, 2004|05:36 am] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| |  sick | ] |
wisdoms pulled thursday morning. i'm recovering really good. no swelling. hardly sore. just my jaw hurts from being pryed open for so long.
i have a cold. we have no cold medicine. i'm stuffed up. i have no voice.. i sound disgusting when i talk. like a man. i have a nasty cough.
i need to finish my xmas shopping SO bad!!
mom
dad
brother
stephanie (half way finished)
christy (more than halfway finished, just need 1 more thing)
thats all i'm getting presents for because i'm a cheap ass this year. actually i'm spending good money on stephanie & christy, but i'm still a cheapass.
today i decided to write out some xmas cards to people i haven't seen in a while:
`shanti
`heather (i still need her address..well maybe i'll just put it in her mailbox, she only lives down the street)
`alison
`megan |
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|
| i'm only pretty sure, that i can't take anymore |
[Dec. 13th, 2004|12:54 am] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| | aggravated | ] |
fuck the mall.
fuck the calendar store in which i work.
fuck the guy that stole 197 dollars and ran.
fuck running all the way to the end of the mall to try and find him.
fuck all the managers & head people & security guards & police i had to talk to today.
fuck the lesbian girl i work with that kept hitting on me & is stupid and takes forever to count the money & doesn't know how to close & doesn't shut up & follows you to your car and gets in and tells you to take her home and then tells you that you are going the wrong way.
fuck not having keys to lock the store.
fuck working 10 hours straight.
fuck not getting a lunch.
fuck being sick.
fuck being on your period.
fuck retail.
fuck this job.
i want to quit.
so today was just the most grandest of them all... |
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|
| this shit is bananas. b.a.n.a.n.a.s |
[Dec. 5th, 2004|05:19 pm] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | listening to |
| | the news in the other room | ] |
so 107.9 had their jingle ball last night, but i didnt get tickets cuz they were expensive & i wanted to go to kwods twisted xmas, so i chose that over jingle ball... (better bands for sure)
but 107.9 kept announcing that they had a "suprise" that was going to be there...
just my luck... their "suprise" was fucking GWEN STEFANI!!!!!
so gwen was in sacramento yesterday & performed at 107.9's jingle ball & i wasn't there. talk about fucking depressing.
so fuck 107.9, they should go die.
or at least announce who all is going to be at their fucking concerts.. because if i knew gwen was gonna be there, i would have been first in line to buy tickets.
so FUCK YOU!!!
*sorry, im just a little bit upset right now* haha<3 |
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| edit: i'm gonna be okay. i still don't know what i did to deserve this? |
[Dec. 1st, 2004|08:21 am] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| | tired | ] |
thank you to everyone that told me to keep my head up and smile, and that things will soon be better.
things have been very rough, but i've been keeping my head up and taking each day with a smile. things are not totally better, but i've learned to ignore them.
some things have tremendously worked out for the better & some not. but i'm becoming a better person out of this all.
i♥you all.
on another better note: i've finally figured out my class schedule for next semester, my appointment is at 4 today so sign up. i applied for another job & hopefully they'll be calling soon & i can make some money for the holiday season & buy my wonderful friends some gifts. the end.<3 |
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|
| trust me, i'm not okay |
[Nov. 28th, 2004|10:09 pm] |
| [ | i feel.. |
| | depressed | ] |
i am nothing but a fuck up in life.
i'm sorry that all i can do is try to please people and end up fucking up the life of another. i try my hardest. it's not my fault that i care about everyone else way more than i care for myself.
it's the least i can say. but i'm sorry.
i just spent the last 20 minutes in my room, crying over what a failure i've been. what a failure i am. and what a failure i'll always be.
and i am nothing. ignore me. i do nothing but wrong. i deserve nothing.
please don't tell me everything will be okay, because you don't know me, and i know everything won't be okay |
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